Nonsensical and sometimes not-so-nonsensical rants about what may or may not be going through my head. Try to liberalize your canvas of interpretation when reading these posts - you will go far...

Sunday, March 6, 2011

What is the moment, the exact moment when everything changes and the person you thought you couldn’t live without, leaves without saying so much as a goodbye? That is the moment when everything changes, yet nothing really does. One goes on with life and daily chores and mundane activities, as is the order of the day. This is an idea I seem to have reiterated several times in my blog because I believe it with utter conviction – the person we claim we ‘cannot live without’ is hypothetical – merely a figment of our imagination. No such person exists in the world. There is absolutely NOBODY we need to depend upon for survival.

In the words of the truly great and wise, T.S.Eliot, "Hell is oneself, hell is alone, the other figures in it merely projections. There is nothing to escape from and nothing to escape to. One is always alone."

Twelve years ago on this day, they buried my mother. I stood there, eight years old, and in complete denial, watching them lower her in the grave. And here I am, twelve years later, twenty years old and possibly still in denial; because somewhere deep in my heart there lives an eight year old who still believes her mother is alive.

8 comments:

  1. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it.


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  3. My god, sahar. Beautiful writings, and what an amazing 20 year old you are!

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  4. I am sorry for yr mom's loss. Great post it really touched my heart and i agree with the idea that i cant live without xyz is hypothetical. I have also gone through this and yet i am still here 20 years old and living quite a good life. n u hv got a new follower as well : )

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  5. The realities of life.. full of numbing experiences till the time we are living here. May Allah give you strength to be whole again from the inside.

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